White Noise

This summer after a couple of interesting run ins I’ve had with those of the taupe persuasion I’ve decided to write down things I heard that made me go “hmmmm”, made my ass itch, or gave me chest pains… I’ve decided to share what I have so far. I will warn you now, this isn’t like my usual blogs.

This lady at my job begged me not to take offense to a story she was about to tell me. I’m thinking she’s about to retell Uncle Tom’s children in her own words. She only said “this young black girl….”.

I was waiting a table and this guy knocked his drink over. He said “I’m sorry please blame,this on the alcohol….. And not the crack cocaine I had earlier”

I filled out an application to rent a house and the guy said “we’re not looking for anything specific on the background check. As long as you aren’t a blood or crip or something like that.”………. I didn’t get the house.

There’s a small table outside of work and people keep their cigarettes in the drawer. I opened the drawer to grab one and the guy who was performing on the patio walked by and asked if that’s where i keep the weed.

For the first time since my son was born I was asked “so what does your wife do?” instead of, “are you still with your baby mama?” I’m not married but still.

My co-workers called this guy a racist and got pissed because he referred to me as the big black guy.

This lady ordered steamed shrimp to go. Her name was Latoya. My coworker picked up the order to take out of the kitchen and… “I got an order for Lato- OOooooo Latoya gonna get her skrimps giiirrrlll” 

We give out glasses and a glass bottle of water to tables when they first arrive. This lady asked for ice water. So I brought her ice. Because water was already on the table. She got upset and asked for a new server.

I then found out that it wasn’t uncommon for people to ask for “anyone but the black guy” when they walk in. I’ve been here for 4 years.

Yesterday a man was killed while he was waiting for his son at the bus stop. As is most situations the cop will probably get a paid vacation. This lady just said that the world needs to watch Remember the Titans.

A lot of white people are bringing up MLK and saying they wished he was back…. I do too but only so I could hear a collective “Wait, what???”
I came back to work someone told me they had a huge debate about black people after work the night before… I dont know if I’m thankful that I was off or if I regret not being there.
Someone told me “Bye Felicia” and I asked them to name 5 characters from Friday…. They could not.

In my book of life. If I wrote a chapter about this summer it would be titled, “Not to sound Racist, but”…… I need this job though

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