Be Better Than Me

I’m not sure if I’ve told ya’ll before, but if it’s one thing the kid doesn’t handle well its stress. I like to make myself busy so I don’t have to deal with it. One of the things I make myself busy with happens to be strippers…. Of the hood rat persuasion. Would I suggest it? Nope. Be better than me.

Last year I had shut it down with a female I’d been seeing and was kinda bummed about it.

So where did I head?

Oh yes.. I went to the sunken city of Thotlantis to surround myself around the finest most available hood gazelles in VA.

…….on a Monday night.

Be better than me….

I walk in. There’s a chick on stage who either gave birth before she got on, or she plans on doing so after her set.

There’s an old creepy white dude in the corner. There’s hood gazelles grazing at the bar. And then there’s me.

I walk in, pay, the DJ gets my attention and says “I mean…. you’re basically the only one here.  Any thing special you want me to play?”  Just throw some Big Krit on and I’ll be good.

Girls on stage dance and their set is over.

*record scratch*

I think the DJ wants to let me know how sad it looks that I’m in here dolo because even tho he’s 5 feet away from me, he chooses to get on the mic like “Um… anything else you wanna hear man?”

On the mic bruh? You gotta advertise my loneliness? 

Bruh hit me with a shoulder shrug of extreme elevation.

I’m salty… but I ain’t eem leave…

Be better than me.

I grab me a Pepsennessy from the bar and partake in a Newpoat.  A hood gazelle with a bad case of dandruff sits next to me. I’ll call her Anita Flaker.

AF: Hey baby can I have a light?
Me: Here.
AF:  You ight? Outchea on a Monday. When she leave you?
Me: Damn…..
AF: You want a dance?
Me: I just came here to sight see I’m not eem in the mood Allat.Yea I want one

Be better than me

Go in the back. Get twerked on to the honorable Yo Gotti. Came back out to sight see some more and Ms. Flaker sits next…to me… again..

AF: Did you like the dance?
Me: Yea it was dope thanks
AF: Do you have IG?
Me: yea
AF: OMG you should totally follow me. You know… you can hit me up sometime.
Me: Word.

….. I’d like to say I didn’t pull a Myron from Player’s Club…..

I’d like to say it…….


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