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Archive for September, 2013

Tip Da Goddess

I went back home to Raleigh today to visit some folk and handle some bidness… No soon as I crossed state line I was reminded of an old friend. Her name is Tip Da Goddess. Tip ain’t no ordinary female at all… I mean now she is… But she was bout as trill as it came when I first met her… Remember the song Candy Lady?? if not(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VooykF-HQDc) that was about her…

I first met Tip Da Goddess when I was 18, me and my pops were at the Dogghouse in Durham. We frequented the spot and of course like most Durm hoodgazelles she worked there… Started casual convo and we later became cool…. Which brought me deep into the hood circus that she called life…

 

First thing I learned about Tip was that she was ratchet(like most Durhamites) but she was classy…. so she was Classchet… She was going to school to Teach… But she was also doing dirty work for this rapper who had Durham music on lock.. he was known for looking like he was wearing a gold grill from a distance.. but as you get closer you’d see that his teef were just THAT f*cked up.. he was fittingly known as Stain Gretsky… She was basically his manager but she was making lil to nothing.. Which is why she was working at the Dogghouse but Stain had come nice hood perks.. She got free Nylaters at ANY corner store… she got into any club free between 10 and 10:05.. AND she got 67% off at Cookout.. What hoodgazelle would pass that shit up? So she’d style the nigga in the flyest of Coogi linen and Red Monkey gowns.. Set up his performances in Durham Tech’s student union and set up album signings at The Reddest Lobsters i the city! But the wild thing is.. She was really doing this shit while going to school full time and maintaining a nice GPA…

Her Feyonce, Michael Peeley(light skin nigga with eczema) grew up with Stain but Stain dicked him out of a record deal with Girbauds’n’Tee Records.. See they been rapping together since high school and they got attention from the label but they wanted Peeley more than they wanted Stain but Stain told the label that it was him who actually wrote and produced everything and Peeley was just a performer. Which was ass backwards so Peeley hates the nigga. If he ever found out that Tip was working for Stain he’da whooped everybody ass.. But he had just joined the military and was out of the state so she was safe for the time being…

Tip had the tuition folk knocking at her door and Stain was being cheap and the Dogghouse wasn’t paying enough… The Ratchet gods must have been calling cause there was an amateur night at the local skrip club.. and Tip had BODY…. She was hectic bout doing it cause she had morals.. Sheen take her clothes off tho.. cause once again she’s Classchet…. She just twerked like her rent was on the line.. Made three times more than she needed cause the crowd lacked a bountiful amount of electrolytes…

Time went on and Peeley came back and word got out that Tip had been working for Stain and he was PISSED.. nigga demanded that she quit.. and she did… but Sheen know that Stain wasn’t finna give her up without a fight…

Stain figured that if Tip was gonna mess with his business he was gonna hit her where it hurt…. He sent his Goonbas out and they jumped Peeley and kidnapped the nigga.. Told Tip that she’d have to find him cause they hid him in a “super secret place” and if sheen get there with 10G’s to fund his “World Tour” around Greensboro then it’d be a wrap for Peeley…

 

Lucky for Tip, Stain was an idiot… It took Tip 5 mins to realize that Stain had Peeley in his Grammaw kitchen.. he got his Cosmetology school drop out baby mama scratching Peeley’s head and putting Motions extra skrength perm in it and tapping him on the back of the neck with a hot comb… and he got bout 5 Goonbas in the spot.. One thing Stain woulda known if he had taken the time to get to know Tip… Was that when she gets mad… She’s ratchet Wolverine…Wolverisha…

And although she’s only had a couple minor run ins with the law, she was a criminal mastermind.. She knew how to get Peeley back and not get caught…

 

She took a couple blue otterpops and froze em SUPER HARD ran up in the back door and sliced up any nigga that was in the way of getting Peeley back… I mean blood and corn syrup everywhere.. By the time cops got there the scene was too damn sticky to investigate so they said fuck it… they ain like Stain noway…

 

Tip took the money from Stains grammaw house and her and Peeley moved somewhere down souf.. I’m not finna tell where she ran to.. But she’s doing good.. Her and Peeley got married and had a couple kids.. They bofe got the bomb ass job and they cooling… I’ll tell her ya’ll asked about her…

 

Until next time folk!!!

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