Touch That Link, Folk

2013 Goon Challenge

You know how Instagram and Facebook always have those song and picture challenges???

Well… I’m finna give ya’ll the Goon Challenge.. but I won’t give you a 30 day deadline to complete it because some of these can’t be done in just one day.. So ya’ll got the whole summer to act a complete ass and make me proud…

1. Crush up some Alka Seltzer and Efferdent, mix it with flour, bag it…. Take it to a party, OR just find some Denzel Washington Flight ass nigga… Let em snort it.. And watch the foam party begin in their head.

2. Go to Rainbows, steal a tag gun and mark hot pink leggings and gold stilettos down 85%…. Record the hoodrat Jumanji stampede.

3. Go to the club… find that ONE guy who knows he has no bidness being there… Walk up  to him, Punch/push him while yelling “OH NIGGA U THOUGHT I FORGOT?!” Disclaimer: there’s always the possibility that your target could be exceedingly and abundantly bout dat life….. proceed with caution.

4. Invite your bougie co-workers over for a dinner party… But when they get there only serve: little hugs, spam cubes, various nugget sauces from Chick Fil A(Especially that delicious ass Polyester sauce) and half frozen fun pops for dessert.

5. Find that one country ass uncle we all have that still wears finger waves or a jheri curl… replace his hair products with bacon grease and wait for the flies to throw a twerkfest…. Enjoy

6. Rent a Limo, tell ya girl to put on a fly ass gown cause u wanna wine and dine her….. Sit outside of Cookout and drink Mad Dog Milkshakes…

7. Take a hoodrat by the hand and kiss it… then give her a “compliment” using the words: bovine, scrofulous and corpulent… if she says “aww” give yourself a pat on the back… It’s AALLLLLL about delivery…

8. PUT CRISCO ON THE POLES AT YOUR LOCAL SKRIP CLUB AND WATCH THEM BROADS PLAY DOMINOES !!

9. This one works best for folk on campus. Identify that one student who always looks around while walking like “the people” are after him. Catch him while he’s across the skreet, make eye contact, pretend to whisper to your boys while looking then point and scream “HELL YEA DAS HIM!!!” proceed to chase him. Disclaimer: See Number 3.

10. Go to the Chinese spot in the hood.. ask for Sesame “random animal that yeen got no bidness eating” See what they ring in off of impulse… tell the world…

11.  At the end of a job interview when they ask if you have any questions…. Take your shirt off and say “Who else wanna f*ck with Hollywood Cole??”. Guaranteed Hire.

12. Go to the barbershop and say that Muggsy Bogues was the greatest point guard to ever live… When they bring up Magic Johnson support your argument by asking if a short ass alien ever stole Magic Johnsons talent and used to it beat up on Bugs Bunny n’em… He…can’t…say….shit

13. Gut a newport and put one of those skinny firecrackers in the middle of it fuse down… Wait for a local to ask for a cig and watch the magic happen…

14. Get drunk and go to a museum,zoo, or aquarium…. do NOT be shy in expressing your shock and awe.. “AYE NIGGA YOU SEEN DEEZE PRETTY ASS, BIG ASS, GRACEFUL ASS MUHF*CKIN STANGRAYS?!”

15. Graduate From ICDC Summa Cum Laude and drop a mixtape with Romeo!!!! UUNNNHHHH

Lemme know how ya’ll do Folk!

On another note, T shirts will be here soon get at me!!! Love

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One response

  1. Jesica

    LMAO!!! #2, 5, 7, and 9 had me rollin!!!

    April 15, 2013 at 6:33 AM

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