Touch That Link, Folk

Everybody Hates Teddy…

Little known fact: I lived in Deliverance, WV for 9 months when I was 14…. yea it sucked in case you were wondering… I was one of maybe 20 black people outta 600?(random number) Just know we were rare round them parts.. Anywho, obviously being black in a school fulla eggshell colored folk with rosy throats you hear a lot of hateful words.. You gotta know when to pick your battles tho cause 3/4 of them people related so if you fight one of em they got a whole lineage waitin on ya ass..

Well… this one day I was on my way to the bus to leave and I’m listening to “Da Band” on my CD player (you feel old), and this kid sticks his head out the window and says “Whatcha Say There Nigger ? *chuckle*”….

See… I could’ve ignored him… I could’ve been the bigger person….. but unfortunately for this guy I watched The Wire before school… and I had a thug quota I had to reach…

I walked on the bus and saw that the driver wasn’t on there so that was a clear sign that I had to Django his ass… I walked to the back where he was sitting. Had my classic mean mug on and said one of those cliche shit starter lines:

“That was sposed to be funny?? You got jokes huh??” and proceeded to throw excellent hands…

I’m not 100% on this but I’m pretty sure if you looked above my head you would’ve seen

First Attack

2 Hit

3 Hit


5 Hit

6 Hit

Once I stopped channeling E Honda He sat there teary eyed and his friends all fell out in synchronized laughter… I felt bad(cause I always feel bad for shit like that, judge me) but then I had a level of goondom to maintain so I turnt round and walked to the front of the bus like a Chief Executive Officer.

Then the driver that was behind us gets on the bus and interrogates me: “why’d you beat that boy like that?!”

Me: he called me the N word he had it coming

Driver: I don’t care NUTHIN bout what he called you you keep yer hands off um ya understand me?

aaaaannnndddddd here come the lynching mobs….

but to my surprise, Jethro didn’t write me up, so not only did I become Dorner-feared on my bus(too soon?, sorry) but I ain’t eem get in trouble for it…


*throws yellow flag*

Not quite… I called pops to tell him… his response: Did you win?? THERE YA GO!!!

then…. then I did something stupid…. I told my mother….

my politically correct, law abiding ass mother….

HER response(s): YOU DID WHAT?! Where did this happen? Who is he? Where does he live? WHERE did you hit him?! How HARD did you hit him?! ….HOW…MANY…TIMES… did you hit him?? How old is he?? Did you get in trouble? NO?! Well as SOON as you get to that school I want you to go to the office and tell SOMEBODY what you’ve done and accept whatever punishment you get, and if you get suspended i’m WHOOPIN YO ASS!!”

Et Tu Mother?

So I go to school today and the whole time i’m thinking to myself…. “what lie can I tell to make it seem like I got off and have mom thinking I told on myself??”

Well 6th period comes around and I’m getting my story straight…. then…. Satan intervenes

*intercom noise*
“Umm Excuse me Can you send Teddy to the office please? Thank You”

Really??? You couldn’t hold off on that?? You sorry bastards…

So i’m walking to the office… hoping that what I’m thinking happened didn’t really happen..

but it did….

yep… my mama called my Guidance Counselor…


Counselor: So your mother tells me you got into an altercation with another student on the bus yesterday.

Me: …..yea…. he made me mad so I hit him….a few times…

C: You can’t just hit people every time they make you mad..  Who was this young man?

Me: Idk his name, he’s my age tho…

She handed me a yearbook and told me to look for him so she can call him down…

I look at the 9th graders… didn’t see him… but I did look pretty fast so I should look again……nope…..

8th grade… hmm… i don’t see him… but he was probably sick on 9th grade picture day… yea cause there’s no way in hell he’s in the 7th grade… I wouldn’t do no shit like that…

7th grade…. hol up… that looks like him…. naw….naw that can’t be him…. naw….. def not….. ight nigga admit…. you proudly beat the shit outta 7th grader….

After judging me for 45 secs my counselor called the kid to the office.

Kid: I didn’t mean to make him mad… my friends dared me to do it I just wanted to fit in, y’know not too many people like me . *sad TV Orphan voice*

Me: *in my head* Ugh…. really  you lil bastard you gonna make me feel and look worse than I already did? I oughta slap the shit outta yo- oh yea… that’s why i’m here now

Counselor: Since you both seem to be remorseful and your apologies seemed sincere I’m gonna keep this between us… but don’t let this happen again…

So….  Everything went better than expected… I didn’t get in trouble… Me and that child became friends…. and people didn’t mess with me after that… I still don’t 100% know why mom dukes made me tell… Well… I know it was to teach me a lesson but still… WHERE YO LOYALTIES AT MA?!(Love You! :])

In case I haven’t told ya’ll I’m working on turning my blog into a book and get it published by the summer… I’d LOVE your support… don’t worry… I’m adding ALOT more stuff to it so you’ll get your moneys worth… until next time Folk!

3 responses

  1. In the classic words of my father, “It be like that sometime.” Thanks for sharing another one of your great tales m’boy. I’ll be spendin’ some time through here today catching up and just wanted to toss you a “Keep up the good work.”

    March 1, 2013 at 1:23 PM

  2. You have my support…keep me posted on the book thing. 🙂

    March 1, 2013 at 1:24 PM

  3. Stevie Blunta

    Can’t wait for the book

    March 4, 2013 at 2:50 PM

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