Touch That Link, Folk

The [Over] Thinker

Picture a statue of me in that classic ass pose (google “the thinker”) dope right??

Anyways..

I always get good laughs out of this story.. i personally don’t find it funny but ya’ll can laugh at my misfortune..

I’ve always been one to over think EVERYTHING… even little things like standing up in class to go to the bathroom.. “what if i trip over that table leg?” or “what if the teacher calls me out and embarrasses me”? yea it’s sad… i do it all the time tho…

…….So there was this girl that i liked… well i’m still diggin her but this story explains why i’m currently not in pursuit,,.

So i’ve known her for a while but never made a move She’s really dope tho so i gave it the old college try…

Anyways.. she agreed to go with me to get something to eat and this day just happened to be  this past ValentiMes Day..

This wasn’t official but i figured it’d be a nice gesture to get a stuffed animal and some chocolate… but some middle class chocolate cause i didn’t wanna send the wrong signals..

A Hershey Bar means “I wasn’t really thinking bout you this was just at the counter when i went to get my black n mild but enjoy dat shit”

Figaro Rochelle… whatever those expensive ass Chocolates are called that come in the 14 karat gold wrappers means “I plan on putting a ring on your finger once you finish chewing”

so i aimed for the middle and bought some Chocolate Turtles…

See how i’m over thinking?

So i got that and this Stuffed Bassett Hound (cause i know she wants a dog) that was holding a heart but i had to dig thru the shelves to find one that had a decent message on it because the other ones said “I Love You” and “Bear My Children” so i think the one i bought said Hug Me.. or something along those lines..

So we went to eat and i was nervous the whole time cause i already had the whole evening thought out in my head of me saying the wrong thing and her storming out and going to get some goons… while i was playing this extreme scenario in my head I  wasn’t paying attention when we were walking to the table we were going to the same seat.. and I knocked into her.. and i’m like… 3 times her size so i thought she was gonna fall down and hit something like in Million Dollar Baby…

I REAAAAALLLLY over think things…

So afterwards i was taking her home and I planned on giving her the gifts cause they were in the Backseat and I was gonna grab them and try to be smooth but i couldn’t figure how to do it… “Should I have some theme music playing while I do it? Get an ambience going?” but then i thought she was gonna gimme a speech and call me lame and throw my shit out the window…. so that’s what i was dealing with the entire car ride…

So i’m sitting with one hand on the wheel and the other in the backseat holding onto the gift bag for 15 mins looking like Aretard of the Year…

I FINALLY got the courage to give it to her… and what the fuck did i do?!?!

i THREW the bag in her damn lap…

she jumped out of fear…

At that point i just wanted to eject myself out my OWN damn car..

I don’t really remember what happened because i’ve purposely blocked it from my mind… and now i have difficulty talking to her cause All i see is me throwing random shit at her.. so i just don’t really talk much..

I should probably see a specialist…..

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