Touch That Link, Folk

I Reminisce(2x’s) *Funky Ass Sax*

I found myself reminiscing on past experiences that I wish I could go back to. One of these happen to be my internship at Disney World 3 years ago… i have PLENTY of stories which i will tell in the future but this particular one may be the most memorable one.

I had 5 roommates while there:
1.Prettyboy Floyd- the only other black guy in the apartment which was rare so i’m guessin they thought I was white. he was from NY and was a typical cocky, flashy new yorker.
2. Reno 911- he was a tall skinny nerdy white boy from Osh Kosh Wisconsin… so you KNOW he’s never been around black people… and you can tell.. i think in his entire life he’s known about 3 black people, 2 of them being me and Prettyboy Floyd. He worked as a security guard on campus so he always thought he was on the first 48.. annoying..
3.Elroy Jetson- my homie! rich bougie white boy from Baton Rouge, we chilled all the time doing dumb stuff… the only roommate i still talk to..
4. Buzz Lightyear- sensitive dude from AZ, he was cool to hang out with.. he just cries alot..
5. Last but DEF not least, the Creeperican- puerto rican creeper(duh) he was the most socially awkward person i have ever met, i don’t want to say too much about him because i’m saving it for a later post, but he was theeeeeeeeeee creepiest person in Central FL

I’m trying to make this post as short as i can because i know people get bored after a while..

one of my coworkers was throwing a party across the street from us and he invited me and told me to bring some roommates. Of course Prettyboy Floyd was going with me, and Reno 911 had just broken up with his girlfriend so he came along. When we got there we immediately started to throw back shots and get awesome. Me and prettyboy went to the balcony to share our evening Black & Mild with some other Distinguished Ladies and Gents while Reno is in the kitchen drinking everything he can find… keep in mind he barely weighs 150.. 20 mins pass and i go in the living room and i see 3 things:
1. Puke
2. Reno’s feet in the air
3. Renos face on the floor

He barely knew where he was and he was spitting all over the place like he was outside. The owner of the apt told me “yo… get ya mans before i f*ck him up” so i pick him up off the floor and start to carry him out and thats when the drunk talk starts:

“hey bro.. i know i don’t know you.. but i f*cks with you bro.. i really do bro.. no bro like seriously” and we just KNOW the word nigga is finna come out his mouth so we hurry up and get him out. some of my fellow african americans help me get him to the apartment and he says “bro i can do it myself i got this shit” so we let him go, we were reluctant because we were 19 at the time and were all wasted and didn’t want to bring attention to ourselves by him acting an ass. you know what he had the nerve to do??

go head, guess..

this asshole took ONE step and fell of the curb and knocked his ass unconscious.. you know what my fellow black people did??…… they ran…. sorry bastards.. i stayed with him and tried to carry him to the apt but my drunk ass kept stumbling with him on my shoulders.. this guy who used to be an EMT came and said we HAD to call 911… which means we could get fired for underaged drinking…

but wait…

lightbulb!

we made up a story that he got drunk at Buffalo Wild Wings and we drew X’s on his hands.. since it was off the grounds no one could get fired… so Everything went better than expected.. *smiley face n shit*

the Creeperican made an appearance to play captain save a douche and took a cab to the hospital and did God knows what to Reno while he laid in the bed unconscious…

to this day i still make jokes about how he went Curb bungee jumping and got fondled in an Orlando hospital…

then a month later Reno got fired for jumping a fence to LEAVE an apt complex that he was already in… can you believe that shit? he hopped the fence to get in.. all he had to do was walk out.. but no.. he jumped the fence to LEAVE…

the End

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One response

  1. Pingback: The Awkward Adventures of the Creeperican | The Life & Times of Theodore Perseus Belafonte

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