Touch That Link, Folk

Big Mama’s Pickled Sausages & Marlboro Lights

i’m blessed to have food, clothing, and shelter….whenever I see a homeless person around Chester, i try to give something to them because if someone I love was in that situation I’d want someone to do the same for them… the people in Chester seem to have a sense of humility….

the homeless people in Richmond??

them some BOLD assholes…

I was in downtown Richmond visiting my boy Mr. Ding Dong Doe (I don’t put folks real names up here) and I was with my homies CrackRock Jones and Cory Matthews and we were leaving Ding Dong Doe’s apt… it was about midnight… maybe 1am. and we walked out of the apartment and we see this bigger white lady in a Hoverround rolling up with this guy that looked like Biz Markie… we thought they were together, and we not judging… cause that’s real love…

turns out they weren’t together, she was just trying to get some money from him and when he said no she hit a U-turn and came towards us…

shit…..

all we had to do was leave 20 secs later and she would’ve rolled past us…

so she asks us for help, saying how she got locked out of her brothers apt and him and his gf are high off their asses and won’t wake up to answer the door…

i don’t keep cash on me… none of us do… what she wanted us to do was drive to an ATM and get out enough money for her to get a cab and a hotel… I told her nicely “ma’am, we don’t have the money to do all that, that’s alot”…

her response: “well, can you just give me money for a hotel and give me a ride yourself?” 0_o

HO I DRIVE A CAMRY, WHERE THE HELL I’MA PUT THAT BIG ASS WHEELCHAIR

i was getting annoyed…

CrackRock suggested that she calls the cops to let her in the apartment, but she didn’t wanna do that because they had drugs in the house.. i see that as a fair trade… he locked your ass out, you got him knocked.. now ya’ll even…

she wasn’t going for it.. so he then suggested that she stays on this street for a while and find one of the churches that have shelters and crash there for the night…

she said “I only have 14 miles on my wheelchair”

then Crack Rock uttered the ICONIC words: “well… it DEFINITELY ain’t 14 miles so you’ll be ight”

she wasn’t having it… then she pulls out a cigarette and starts puffing on it and tells us that she’s embarrassed and all she has is marlboro’s and a Big Mama’s Pickled Sausage… then she pulled it out her bra and took a bite out of it and a piece of it rolled down her chest..

EASILY one of the top 5 grossest things i’ve seen in my life…..

so she starts making the hurt grit face… and starts doing the crying voice…

then Cory Matthews looks at me and says “aaaahhhhhh why she wanna cry?”

so i guess she got fed up with us… and finally says: whatever.. thanks for nothing.. May God have mercy on you”

buuurrrrnnnneeeeddd me up….. she’s lucky i stayed out there for 20 mins and actually tried to help her out… don’t use religion as revenge… instead of guilting people you need to be praying…

but i ain’t spaz on her…

i took the high road..

I drove behind her for 4 mins playing “Get Ur Roll On” by Big Tymers…

“your attitude determines your altitude”- OJ Da Juiceman

i guess that’s a good way to end this entry

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